he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
