it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
