i just google imaged poop.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
