Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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