I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
