We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
