I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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