Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
