Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
