I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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