Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
