oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
