I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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