i don't like sucking hair
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
