I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Drunk is a universal language darling
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
