I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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