Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
