they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
