But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
