I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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