we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
