Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
