This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He passed out mid-signature
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
