You're a womanizer and a bitch.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
