Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
