Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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