What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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