okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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