take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
