I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
