I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
