This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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