Buhtt sex?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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