so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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