cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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