I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize