they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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