Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
