I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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