u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
