i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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