all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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