Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
