I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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