8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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