Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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