I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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