Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kdees hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.

Fav 31 4444 1203
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried

Fav 38 2406 8181
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

Whoa, Gary Coleman died

(224): View more from Illinois

Whatchu talkin bout?!?!

(847): View more from Illinois

Too soon.

Fav 49 7447 2223
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

Fav 14 4774 1661
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.

Fav 5 2255 1099
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.

Fav 10 4472 1461
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.

Fav 7 2140 2160
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...

(860): View more from Connecticut

Tuesday

Fav 4 2104 781
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!

Fav 0 53 104
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT