I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
