You're so nebulous sometimes
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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