Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
