Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
