My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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